Embryo donation! Let's talk!

Re: Embryo donation! Let's talk!

Postby Adriana on 13 Oct 2014, 14:44

AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH. Yell away - vent, rant, rave whatever it takes to hold onto your sanity. It helps to let go and allow yourself to be mad, sad whatever. BFFN is perfectly appropriate!! No, I don't think you're nuts for being upset over your grapes. At times like this, all the little things add up to one giant frustration. Those birds probably did it out of spite. Whenever I'm upset and DH does something I swear he does it just to annoy me (ok...so...he's just doing his normal thing, but still...). And yes, I can believe you were working last night; whether by choice or design, I find occupying myself so my mind doesn't spin in circles helps; if only temporarily. Stupid birds, stupid old eggs, stupid universe...it is VERY hard not to torment oneself with delusions of rewriting the past, isn't it? But you're right, there's no Evil Master Plan. This is just plain old life, throwing us curve balls. It doesn't mean it doesn't hurt, but at least we know it's random and not directed specifically at us. Still....crap. I'm guessing you're still going for your beta today. Hold on to that one brain cell that's staying optimistic and let us know what happens. If it's not contradictory to last night's results feel free to vent away here. I hear you on the red wine; I needed to do something from my non-pg life that felt normal, but do try to go easy...no point compounding your crappy feeling with a big, aching head the next day. Ah, who am I kidding? Do what you need to, to make it through. Either way, take the time to decide on next steps and figure out what feels right. I know, at 43 for me, time always seems like the enemy but it does help to pause and think things through with a (somewhat) clear head.

((hugs))
Adriana
 
Posts: 9
Joined: 09 Oct 2014, 13:29

Re: Embryo donation! Let's talk!

Postby Penny on 13 Oct 2014, 14:59

Hi pals,
For starters I am so sorry for being a bad poster here. I am not getting emails when more posts happen and I cannot open this site on my Iphone. So I have to do better at finding time to hop on my laptop.
More importantly, Barabara----- well sht!!! I am so sorry about the hpt results. I am hoping you are one of the low beta women who don't show up until after a positive beta.... but I know that is a small hope and I am sorry that you have to muster up strength to grieve this cycle then to move forward with another. Sometimes life is NOT fair. How are you holding up?
Adriana--- I can certainly hear you on second guessing the decision to use DE. I still get sad when I realize that I will not see any of myself in my child so I can't really help you know what to do. All I can say is that I knew I could not handle another IVF, knowing that I would not stim well and that I had a high probability of miscarrying any child I did get pregnent with. I just knew that I had to do something different (or let go of my sanity). Also sounds like you had a great party.
Here at home, I have started Lupron and I think I forgot how much that stuff burns. Yikes. I finish the BCP this week then I have my first monitoring u/s next week. getting so excited about the cycle. I think the thing that is helping me keep my mind most occupied is that I have 2 new Persian kittens. They are absolutely precious and they keep is in stitches around here. At the moment one of the kittens is baffled about why he cannot get the dogs to play with him.
Penny
 
Posts: 6
Joined: 09 Oct 2014, 12:06

Re: Embryo donation! Let's talk!

Postby Adriana on 13 Oct 2014, 15:49

Penny - so good to hear from you ...and I am extremely jealous of your 2 new kittens - lucky duck!! I'm down to one kitten (well, 20 year old kitten LOL) after losing my other baby at Easter. I keep telling DH that one day, there will be new kittens in the house. He says no more, even though he loves(d) ours. It's an ongoing debate - he says it's him or a new cat. If I didn't need his swimmers.....hmmmm.... just kidding. I bet your persians are just beautiful and one day, when the dogs want to play, they'll have determined that dogs are well, DOGS and far beneath them to play with LOL! Enjoy your new furbabies.
Now I'm confused - you're on Lupron? My dr. said I'd only need bcp, estrace & then PIO for a donor cycle. I confess, I thought 'yippee! no major drugs for me! DE is the best!' LOL...looking for the silver lining, I am! Sorry you're having to take that awful stuff..I remember how moody and generally awful I felt on Lupron. Shudder.
I think we're in the home stretch for selecting our donor. Just waiting on AMH results then - kaching - let the games begin! All kidding aside, it's only been just over a month since we connected with the donor agency, but it feels like forever and DH & I are very excited about moving forward.
Well, it looks like we're actually in for (gasp) 5 days without torrential rain here! Let summer begin.
Barbara - how are you hanging in? Thinking of you.
To everyone else, hope you're doing well and look forward to chatting again.

Cheers!
Adriana
 
Posts: 9
Joined: 09 Oct 2014, 13:29

Re: Embryo donation! Let's talk!

Postby Barbara11 on 13 Oct 2014, 16:20

I'm very grumpy but I'll try not to put too many and in my message. Thanks for your thoughts and encouragement. Got the official BFFN today from the beta. Saw your message last night and appreciated the encouragement - just couldn't think of a thing to say. Plus, sensing stress, my hubby turned into to a giant goober last night and was no support. Doc called and said, gee, I'm real sorry. I really thought we'd make it this time. I know it's all in the odds and we're pretty sure nothing is 'wrong' so it's just how it goes. I've not spent a huge amount of time deciding whether to try again or not. I (find another donor and start all over and scrape up some $$) because I just don't want to think about giving up completely. My biggest worry is that I'm afraid I'm going to be a billion years old before this maybe-baby could graduate from high school. I keep asking myself if it's fair to a child. Am I being stupid? I'm worried I'm being selfish by wanting this child but the truth is I was so happy thinking about having a new little person in our lives that it seems like it must be right to keep trying. My Mom and Dad were so young when they had my 2 brothers and I that by my age 2 of her 3 kids were in (or graduated from) college. She cried when she got pregnant with my little brother because she was 27 and thought she was ancient. Why am I so fixated on age? I think it's ok for other people to have kids in their 40s. Why did I think it was ok a month ago but 3 months from now is just too long? Has anyone seen my brain, it seems to have taken a vacation without me 'cause I'm not thinking right LOL. I'm very excited that you are on your way for your DE cycle. Lupron is not so fun, is it? I didn't have a lot of side effects but I really never got good at the injections. Of course, I never got good at sticking my finger in my eye to put in contacts either! Ah but seriously, I can't wait to hear how it goes and do some living vicariously. Maybe I'll be back at it again one day soon too! I also have heard other DE families say that it becomes such a non-issue about the genetic relationship when they are busy with that baby. One article I read said that until a friend asked him about it. The hubby had kind of 'forgotten' about it. How often does that happen to us anyway that some gigantic deal in our world, some major life-consuming decision just fades into history once you've made it and moved on? All this crap is a big beautiful/painful/frustrating/exciting game. Could it possibly be more complicated? It was very exciting about selecting donors. So much easier to select kittens and puppies. Oh, one more little piece of irony, not only did the doggone birds (or blasted squirrels) eat all my much-anticipated concord grapes. And my husband picks a fight when I'm at my lowest. But I went to my hypnosis dude (trying it for relaxation - very awesome!). Today he feels asleep! I'm thinking this might not be my best week. Thanks for listening to the rants. It’s awesome that you share your experiences too.
Barbara11
 
Posts: 7
Joined: 09 Oct 2014, 12:05

Re: Embryo donation! Let's talk!

Postby Jenny on 18 Dec 2014, 13:28

Hi girls!!! I`ve read your discussion. I understand everyone. Unfortunately I am not able to have my own children. I have a damage of the fallopian tubes. And I am not able to produce my own eggs. I`m 37. The time goes by really fast. And my husband… I see his sufferings because of the child`s absence((( It is very difficult for me!!!I want to share our story with you. May be it would be useful for someone here. My husband and I decided to try donation. As we got to know the donation is anonymous. It means that we can`t meet with our donor. Firstly it was scaring but then we decided to trust the doctors. Luckily we could describe the donor we wanted to have. We told our doctor about the color of her eyes, hair and so on. And we were able to see some photos of the donor. Firstly we decided to try donation in Spain. We stopped on “EUGIN” fertility center in Barcelona. The success rates were really high there. So we got tickets and flew there. At first sight the clinic impressed us. The staff was really professional. We had, just imagine, 3 attempts!!! And what do you think??? They all failed((( I started my investigation and understood the reasons. I found an interesting article about donor eggs. Here it is http://newseurope.info/fresh-donor-eggs ... r-success/ . The author explains that after freezing the possibility to get pregnancy is reduced to the minimum. Spanish clinics use frozen eggs. I must admit that the Spanish donor base is poor. These eggs are of a low quality. Moreover they transfer embryos on the third day. This embryo is not supposed to be in the utero. On the third day it still moves through the fallopian tubes. We came back from Spain absolutely disappointed. But we didn`t stop our search. One of my colleagues who has relatives in Ukraine advised to search there. Firstly it seemed to me absurdly. I could not even imagine that this country could have some achievements in reproductive medicine. Ukraine was always the third world country for me. But I decided to surf the net anyway. As it turned out I was mistaken. Recently I found an interesting information about one volunteer organization. It is Happy Family. It is non-profit. They may send a lot of recommendations about different clinics all over the world. This organization gives an opportunity to compare the legal point in different countries. If someone wants, he may also write to them. I read that their information was really useful for a lot of people. I asked them about the most popular countries for donation. The rates of success in Ukrainian clinics… I get information from them. The answer came immediately. It was really detailed. There was information about BioTexCom. It seemed to us the best variant. There are some reasons for this. The clinic is in the capital of the country. It has high rate of positive results. Moreover they use not frozen but fresh eggs. It was the priority for me. The procedure of IVF in Ukraine differs from the one in Spain. They transfer the embryos into the uterus on the 5Th day as it should be naturally. It increases the chances to get pregnant. Moreover the clinic organizes our staying in Ukraine. The transfer, apartment, food are included. Moreover the price is really affordable. So in soon we fly to Ukraine. Wish us good luck!!! If someone is interested in some details, ask me) I`ll be glad to answer!!!
Jenny
 
Posts: 2
Joined: 09 Jul 2014, 13:50

Re: Embryo donation! Let's talk!

Postby Renata on 17 May 2019, 14:21

Penny wrote:Hi all,
A friend and I were chatting about using donor eggs and we realized that there are not many threads out there right now for families in this unique situation. It would be really nice to have our own cycle thread and a place where cyclers might be able to share information with people only in the investigation stages. Whatyathink? Want to join in?

Our fertility declines over the years. and our eggs are not renewable unlike men's swimmers. The quality of a woman’s eggs is much more important in creating a healthy embryo. The reason for this is that the egg does most of the work in accepting the DNA from sperm. Unfortunately, as maternal age advances, the number of chromosomally abnormal eggs increases. There is also an evidence that low ovarian reserve is associated with poor egg quality!! My dr at bio texcom also explained that a past history of endometriosis and ovarian surgery may also reduce egg health and quantity. In the setting of IVF low AMH may be related to poor pregnancy outcomes. Egg quality may also be assessed during the IVF process by observing the capacity of an embryo to grow to the blastocyst stage. Treatments to improve the health of eggs may include: The increase in stimulating drugs to obtain more eggs. Addition of androgens and growth hormone in patients who are defined as poor responders. Use of PGS of embryos for selection of the healthiest embryo. And as a final decision this might be egg donation, just like you've mentioned. Experts recommend that, if your embryos have made it to blastocyst and their quality is good, a single embryo transfer is done on the first attempt. In case it fails after the first cycle, your doctor may consider transferring two embryos. However, the final decision is in the hands of the patients, who oftentimes decide to transfer two embryos or more the first time, without taking into account the potential risk of multiple pregnancy. 
Biotexcom clinic invented lots of attractive packages for everyone's case and pocket. This is the one I like the best (but for VIP surrogacy plan). ~~Ideal package 39.900 euros (egg donation package with possibility of moving to surrogacy):
1 or 2 Embryo Transfers;
Medical treatment (they do not to have an age limit for egg donation programs);
Medications needed before transfer and 3 months after;
Egg donor fee;
Sperm donor (if needed);
Pregnancy monitoring till 12th week;
Services of the coordinator in charge of the program;
Accommodation; Meals; Transfer from/to the airport and from/to the clinic.
In case of switching to surrogacy you are provided with services included into surrogacy package of your choice.
PGD/PGS (included in surrogacy packages only).
I like the fact Biotexcom is open about the set of services with every package. They all are available in PDF on https://biotexcom.com/services/. Not all the reproductive centers have this approach.
Renata
 
Posts: 32
Joined: 18 Nov 2015, 17:50

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