Postby qVargaq on 02 Aug 2017, 14:06

Hi everyone. Still don’t know how it happened that I ventured on writing here about things so personal and intimate… but I’m stuck and afraid I can’t get out of all this. There is no one near me to share with or to talk to but my hubby, who has had enough to hear me whining again. I’ve been through awful things and I hardly know where to start.
Well, I am infertile (this is not news as I’m here). The way I’ve found out about this disability was too cruel for both of us. We were trying for a baby for 2 years and then I finally got pregnant. However, it wasn’t meant to be… In 3 weeks after positive cheapy I felt like something was wrong..spotting at first, bleeding later and horrible back pains. I don’t usually go to doctors but this time I had to. Anyways I was sent back home like everything was ok and that’s why I hate doctors and our healthcare system. They just don’t care. The nightmare began later; I couldn’t stand that pain and had so heavy bleeding that couldn’t find enough towels to get to the hospital. I thought I was dying and couldn’t do a damn thing to be fine again…half an hour to prepare for surgery seemed eternal. I lost much blood and the only look of it made me freaked out.. I survived and trying to cope with this but I just can’t forget. I don’t know anyone who can understand how I feel…
Then I found out that my uterus is much smaller than it should be and it’s T-shaped…I couldn’t carry a baby! I will never be pregnant, won’t feel a baby kicking inside, won’t be a mother. I’m broken…I must stop thinking about this but I just can’t. I see my hubby suffering and trying to stay positive when I’m with him and it’s twice as difficult to stay sane.
How to live without children when the only thing you are longing for is to be a mother? Is surrogacy the only way out?
Posts: 1
Joined: 12 Jun 2017, 15:54

Re: Nightmare

Postby Melanie on 23 May 2019, 14:51

Honey, you're totally allowed to go through a mourning process. I've lost a total of 2 babies now and it never got easier...My doctor had been a huge supporter in my life. I know what it's like to lose a baby because your body simply isn't ready for it. had two miscarriages back to back years ago. simply because my body didn't recover from the first one. first thing I'd say is be patient with yourself. Your body needs to heal and so does your mind. Losing your loved one as well can make things even more traumatic. Best thing i can suggest in such cases is contacting a fertility clinic, someone qualified to help you through this. Second talk to your doctor about options. I remember I went then into the doctor and asked him how long i should wait before i could try for another baby. He suggested 6 months minimum but wait a year to 18 months!!! to ensure my body had recovered.
Second there are always other options. There is surrogacy. But don't give up hope on having your own if you believe the path that's set out for you. Take care of yourself, take a day off here and there as a mental breather. Get away from the friends who are telling you not to grieve. Spoil yourself a little bit, maybe get some face masks (if youre breaking out) from miscarriage. If your hairs falling out like mine did get some hair masks and take care of it.
Plain and simple just take the emotional time that you need. Everyone on here has been through this. We are all here to help you through some emotions. If you ever need to talk my inbox is open.
Posts: 32
Joined: 19 Nov 2015, 14:40

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