I Want Second Baby, But My Only Option Is Surrogacy

I Want Second Baby, But My Only Option Is Surrogacy

Postby Melissa on 29 Oct 2014, 14:20

This isn't something I think about daily.....but it's enough to the point that it's affecting me negatively. When I was 20 I became a single mother to the most beautiful little girl in the whole world. 2 years later I was diagnosed with brain cancer and they ended up doing a partial hysterectomy and took out my uterus b/c the hormones can make the tumor grow. I still have both my ovaries. I am getting married to an amazing man in a few months. He also has a daughter who is 3, my daughter is 5 now. We both want more children. We know our only options are surrogacy or adoption. He doesn't want to adopt. He wants to use a surrogate. But I don't know how I feel about that. Another woman carrying my baby? Plus the expense is so high to do so. We aren't poor but we aren't rich by any means, so who knows if we will ever have that kind of money. I find myself crying myself to sleep some nights. Maybe feeling less of a woman b/c I cannot give him a child naturally. Even knowing that had I kept my uterus I would have run a HUGE risk to my life to have another baby.... I don't know that it was the right decision to let them take it out. Technology/medicine changes so often. Maybe someday I could have had another baby. I should be so blessed to even have the one daughter that I have. But I guess the biggest issue I feel is that I did not enjoy that pregnancy the way I wanted to. I was single, her dad was a jerk the entire time. I hated being pregnant. I wanted to one day be in love and enjoy a pregnancy with a man I was in love with. Now that is something I never get to do. I hate this feeling.
Any advice? Anyone used a surrogate?
Melissa
 
Posts: 1
Joined: 09 Oct 2014, 13:32

Re: I Want Second Baby, But My Only Option Is Surrogacy

Postby Agnes on 16 Dec 2014, 17:18

Hello Melissa!!! I think that you should not be so upset. You were lucky to be pregnant, to feel your baby inside. May be that time you didn`t value those moments… But it was not your fault. You just didn`t feel support and care from your ex. And the thing that you can`t bare one more child yourself should not distress you. You must remember that you have a daughter and she needs healthy mother. Even more, they need live mother!!! This is the most important. In comparison to me you should be really happy. You have a child, even two children (your daughter and your husband`s daughter). I do not have a child, a stimulus to live. Unfortunately I have a premature menopause. I think you know the consequences of this. Moreover I passed through a divorce because of the absence of children. My ex-husband didn`t even want to hear about adoption or surrogacy. But God sent me my actual husband. We love each other a lot and we want to try surrogacy. We gathered a lot of information about this. We compared prices, quality, guarantees and so on. Now we are thinking a lot. This is extremely important decision and we do not want to hurry. Recently I found an interesting information about one volunteer organization. It is Happy Family. It is non-profit. They may send a lot of recommendations about different clinics all over the world. This organization gives an opportunity to compare the legal point in different countries. I`m going to write to them. If you want, you may also write to them. I read that their information was really useful for a lot of people. Remember that your family supports you!!! I hope this information was helpful for you. Best regards)))
Agnes
 
Posts: 21
Joined: 09 Jul 2014, 13:48

Re: I Want Second Baby, But My Only Option Is Surrogacy

Postby Mandy123 on 19 Dec 2014, 12:57

Hello, Melissa! I know that it sounds very ordinary, but first of all I want to say that I am very sorry you have to struggle of such terrible disease(( But I want to say that you are a real fighter and everything will be ok with you. I am sure! And I am sure that you know it) But I want to say that you have incorrect attitude to surrogacy. You have the chance to have biologically your child, and it will look like your husband for example)) And you can enjoy surrogacy as well as your pregnancy) You can visit every month ultrasound you can care your surrogate mother) Also you will feel many colors of surrogacy pregnancy, believe me, you will enjoy it) And why did you decide that surrogacy is inaccessibly expensive? Where do you want to have a program? Did you consider country and clinic? If you are talking about US, I completely agree with you, it is very expensive. It is approximately 80 k for one attempt. And very often one attempt is not enough. But you can consider other countries. I cannot recommend you India, Thailand and Mexico, despite the fact that they are cheap enough. But these are not countries for planning a child. But I can propose you to pay attention to Ukraine. It is beautiful country with its pros and cons. But I want to say that their approaches in reproductive medicine are amazing. And they propose a lot of advantages in their packages. And for example they have all inclusive package for a single price without any hidden payments. For 29900 euro they propose absolutely everything. Their taxi drive will meet you in airport. Also clinic provides you with accommodation, meals, translator, medications, treatment, and consultations. It is very difficult to find something similar) So if you have questions, feel free to ask. Or you just want to talk and feel support, I will) Take care!
Mandy123
 
Posts: 20
Joined: 10 Jun 2014, 15:08

Re: I Want Second Baby, But My Only Option Is Surrogacy

Postby Janice on 26 Jan 2015, 17:47

Hi Melissa! It is great that you want to get a child with a man who you love! I totally share your feelings. And it is even greater that you both want it! I think you should change a bit your attitude to surrogacy… Of course you are not the one who will carry your child. But still genetically the kid will be yours. You will look into his eyes and see your beloved husband. I think it is the biggest happiness what can happen to any couple. Nowadays, thanks God, the medicine is so well organized that even being enable to conceive or carry your own child you still can become a happy mom of a baby who is related to you genetically. And about price… It is true that there are pretty high prices for surrogacy in some places. But they are different in different countries. As for us, we spent just 29.900 for our surrogacy program. We went to Ukraine and took the All included surrogacy with DE package in Biotexcom. And we didn`t pay anything more for apartment, food or transportation. Everything was included into the price of the package. And we didn`t worry about legal part of the question. Because in some cases it`s pretty complicated and can be even a problem. But in our case the clinic was responsible for all the document`s stuff. What I highly recommend you is to go to this clinic and to see what you are paying for. Then you will realize that it is worth it! I hope you will make a decision which will be right for you. Just don`t be afraid of surrogacy. It is something what can make you happy. I thought I didn`t have any chances to be a mother, but now I am, thanks to surrogacy :D
Janice
 
Posts: 2
Joined: 11 Dec 2014, 12:54

Re: I Want Second Baby, But My Only Option Is Surrogacy

Postby Agnes on 07 Apr 2015, 14:05

Hi, Janice!!! I read your post and now I have some questions to ask. Hope you`ll answer. How many times did you have to come to Ukraine? How did they monitor the flow of the pregnancy? Were you able to meet with the surrogate mother before starting the program? Did you pay extra money in the embassy? Thanks in advance :)
Agnes
 
Posts: 21
Joined: 09 Jul 2014, 13:48


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