Need advice really!!

Need advice really!!

Postby Millie on 29 Dec 2015, 13:33

Hi,ladies! I am terribly muddled and anxious.
I have recently found out that I have undergone a luteal phase defect. I live in England which means I am entitled Donor Egg IVF if treatment starts before my fortieth birthday. I will be 40 in less than 6 months.
I have a relative who is considering egg donation to me. Either to myself or donating to the clinic. So I am not sure where I should go. Probably it will be useful to consider visiting also an abroad clinic. My husband insists on our staying at home. But I believe we could do more for the same money in a foreign country. I’m also interested much whether any guarantees are offered by the experts. Also I’d like not to waste time doing re-testing. I’m sure to be diagnosed properly.
Well, do you have any additional, different or conflicting information that would help me make a decision?
Are there any other factors I should take into account?
I am paralyzed with indecision at present :?
Thank you all.
Trying to stay calm but it's not easy :roll:
Millie
 
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Joined: 27 Nov 2015, 13:24

Re: Need advice really!!

Postby Laria on 03 Jan 2016, 17:45

Hi!
I'm not an expert, but it seems to me that luteal phase defect is not such a big deal. You should just add progesterone... :? Well, personally I think you're in a little bit of haste. Probably you're too concerned with your age. But you shouldn't. Besides you are ready to go abroad. I know for sure that in Ukraine there are no age limits for starting IVF.
Some time ago we faced damage to fallopian tubes. That was an awful thing that hadn't allowed us to become parents for 2 years. It was biotexcom where we started our treatment. If you are interested in going through the treatment in this country I'll be pleased to help you sharing some facts.
But first it's of great importance to study your case carefully. Probably donor IVF is too big deal for your diagnosis. Maybe it's better to try some less invasive procedures first. I mean IUI, ICSI. I'm sure you have to share your concerns with a good fertility expert first.
Wish you good luck. May new year bring you happiness Xx
Laria
 
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Joined: 19 Nov 2015, 16:42

Re: Need advice really!!

Postby Elizabeth on 04 Jan 2016, 16:18

Hi, Millie!
It would seem a long shot to me that you would have started treatment before you are forty. BUT you have to weigh up potential of a free round and whether you would regret not trying via nhs later if money became really tight. Also bear in mind that the treatment would be on your Nhs records. Not sure if you would intend to tell a child or not :?
Still treatment abroad may work out cheaper.
Most clinics want test results for everything within last six months. So they may insist on repeat or additional tests.
Good luck ;)
Elizabeth
 
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Joined: 19 Nov 2015, 16:31

Re: Need advice really!!

Postby Amelia on 04 Jan 2016, 16:28

Is this DE the only option?
My advice would be to think very carefully how using an egg from a family member will affect your relationship with them. How they will feel once this baby arrives. Dynamics can be upset by such a thing. They will need to go through testing themselves none of which should be time consuming.
I would get the wheels in motion for an nhs cycle as it will be free. You may be waiting a while as egg donors are not queuing to give their eggs. Plus you need a match for looks. So you want this all before you are 40… Then if that doesn't work or if a donor is not available by the time you reach 40 go abroad. Here I’ll come with advice if you’d like me to.
Your other half may want to stay at home. But let’s face it :!: It’s you who will be the patient and getting a family no matter how inconvenient is what your goal is.
Wishing you good luck xxx
Amelia
 
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Joined: 19 Nov 2015, 16:34

Re: Need advice really!!

Postby Mirela on 04 Jan 2016, 16:33

Hi,
The ladies above have given some great advice. If you need DE, then don't rush in to it. You have a lot to think about at the moment. And you need to be 100% sure that you are making the right decision.
There are some great support boards here. You will be able to talk to others that are in similar positions to yourself 8-) Get rid of your panic and try to stay calm.
Good luck
X
Mirela
 
Posts: 18
Joined: 19 Nov 2015, 16:33

Re: Need advice really!!

Postby Millie on 06 Jan 2016, 17:39

Hi you, lovely people!
I haven't written for a while. And I'm not sure why I'm writing now other than to just share some of these awful, sad, feelings I'm feeling. Nothing major has happened recently with me. Infertility is so cruel and steals kind, loving people of their spark :cry: I feel like my life is in limbo. I act like everything is just normal but actually my heart is so very sad.
I had a lovely day out yesterday with my husband and friends who came to stay. But out of the blue I just got so overwhelmed with sadness as we were surrounded by families and children. I hate that my life has become this horrible waiting game. And that I am separating myself from my closest family and friends as it is too painful to see them with their young babies and kids. I know I will get over this bad patch and find a way to carry on. I am really sorry for the depressing post :oops: I just feel so alone with these thoughts that writing them down does help.
I wish all the struggling like I am baby dust and magic for 2016! And to you few lucky ladies who are expecting their much wanted babies I wish you happy and healthy pregnancies. Xxx
Millie
 
Posts: 2
Joined: 27 Nov 2015, 13:24

Re: Need advice really!!

Postby Mirela on 06 Jan 2016, 17:51

Hi, sorry to hear all this! Dear, every good thing is just ahead! Try to gain that positive outlook again! We were in the case of surrogacy. But here are the facts you’ll be facing if it is DE for you at last.
Well, everything is new to you .. Your husband will have to have his sperm tested. Then if that's good well the rest of the work relies on the woman I think.. You would probably need to go straight to a specialist to see your options.. Everything is possible. Did you have your eggs already tested? Would your womb be strong enough to hold a baby? I've heard that can be a factor to.. But don't worry plenty of woman have children in their forties and conceive naturally .. Or through ivf.. It's really a waiting game and trying not to stress too much. This is easier said than done as everyone knows .. I wish you the best in your journey.. When will you be going to see a specialist/ gyn?
Mirela
 
Posts: 18
Joined: 19 Nov 2015, 16:33

Re: Need advice really!!

Postby Karin on 08 Jan 2016, 17:47

Hi,
Millie, you should just pull yourself together! You have no right for that negative outlook! Omitting all the things we had to survive this is the DE journey in biotexcom we went through.
How many eggs retrieved - I think it was 22. 12 of them fertilized. Embryos transfer on the fifth day. Transferred 3 each time. We had 2 fresh cycles. As for the embryo quality it was a mix. We transferred the healthiest ones.
From the second attempt we started with twins and one vanished.
Our experience is nothing but positive. Even if I could go back and fix it so I could have genetic children, I wouldn't. I have the child I was meant to have and love him more than anything in the world.
Be strong, everyone has to!
May God help you!
Karin
 
Posts: 8
Joined: 19 Nov 2015, 16:38


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